The Thing: not even 32 years can make this less gross.

As a horror movie lover, I’m ashamed to admit that up until a few days ago, I had never seen John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982). I knew there was a remake (or is it a prequel? Or a sequel?) with Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I knew that Kurt Russel was in it. And I also knew that it was a benchmark film in horror movie history. I can safely say that, despite over 30 years since its inception, The Thing has retained its ability to make you anxious, squeamish, and – I’ll say it – a little terrified.

When it was released in 1982, The Thing wasn’t exactly a hit. It received mixed reviews from critics and audience members, and generated mediocre figures at the box office. A few critics labeled it too disgusting and too bleak. I’ll admit – they’re not wrong. It is a depressing movie. It’s clear early on that there are minimal chances of survival for the group, and it ends with an even slimmer chance of rescue. Despite the rough start, The Thing has secured itself as horror royalty.

What makes a movie truly scary? For me, it’s not always blood or serial killers or ghosts or monsters or creepy children. It’s believing that what I’m seeing is plausible. Don’t get me wrong, a suspension of disbelief in horror films is almost a necessity. I’m not saying that I believe there are aliens that have been buried in ice ready to steal my identity (in the most gruesome way possible). It’s all about the reactions of the characters. I can’t count the number of times a blonde co-ed has gone into the basement, while the theater is screaming “do NOT go into the basement!” Those moments can be make-or-break for a scary movie. But in a movie like The Thing, there are very few moments when someone makes a really stupid choice. The reactions are either smart and proactive, or a method of self-preservation. Yet that damn Thing keeps picking them off. As a viewer, you want to be able to place yourself in the same situation. The Thing pulls that off beautifully. The distrust each man has in everyone else is also a strong theme for horror. Carpenter successfully confuses us in who is infected by the dog and who is still human throughout the film. However, by doing that, Carpenter sacrifices emotional connections the audience potentially could have had with the characters. They’re not exactly likeable – in fact, most of them are dicks. Carpenter doesn’t waste time on emotional manipulation with unnecessary back stories; he won’t trick us into liking these men. Unfortunately, level-headedness is where the characters max out. It seems that Carpenter was too focused on atmosphere and visuals, and forget to create interesting, diverse scientists. Their characterization doesn’t go deeper than a stereotypical face value. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t care about making them interesting, he just wants to get things movin’. Luckily, we’re too busy grimacing to really care.

What the movie is best known for is its grotesque special effects. I thought it couldn’t get much grosser than The Fly, but watching a decapitated head pull itself with a tongue-like appendage across the floor is something I won’t soon forget. It’s impressive for an 80s movie to be remembered favorably for its special effects and The Thing has contributed some famous scenes to horror movie history. The beauty of The Thing is that it doesn’t try to win us over. It wants to be unpleasant. It wants to gross you out. And it succeeds pretty damn well.

Is The Thing on your list of best horror movies? Or is just a gross-out film lacking in substance? Let me know in the comments!